After Stranger Things Season 3, Time to Update the Rankings
So, I did this a few years back after Stranger Things season 2, and I figured with season 3 out it was time to bring it back! So be warned: tons of spoilers ahead. If you haven’t finished Stranger Things season 3 do not read this (but thanks for clicking on it and come back after you finish Stranger Things season 3…please). First off, I loved season 3. So, don’t take anything too seriously in this article, but I am going to poke fun at it and say negative things. They are all just in jest and good fun, so chill. I am not hating on it or anything! So, just let me finish my Burger King meal, wash it down with a New Coke and maybe swing by the 7-Eleven for a Slurpee and we will get this article started. (Those product placements were crazy annoying!)
Warning: Spoilers Ahead!
Side note: the order is going to go from my least favorite to my favorite character. Again, I like all the characters and all things Stranger Things. There is no character I truly dislike. So again, chill. This is only going to be main characters with screen time. So, Alexei, sorry—that fair scene was heartbreaking, though; and Suzie, too little, too late—you don’t make the list!
The List
15 – Murray![]() Sorry, somebody has to come in last, and it is you. Look, I know the character serves a purpose, and he is kind of funny in an eccentric way. Hey, he got corndogs at the fair; that was actually a fantastic scene of him holding up the corndogs—oh, but you got Alexei killed by showing him how great America is! Plus he is just way too annoying; sorry! But I do enjoy your conspiracy-filled mind! |
14 – Jonathan![]() Does Jonathan Byers actually ever do anything? I mean, come on, he just rides on Nancy’s coattails. He doesn’t really do anything cool or anything of substance. That is about all I got. |
13 – Erica![]() Look, I know Erica is one of the internet’s Stranger Things darlings, but holy schnikes, we get it, she is sassy, we can tone that down some. It was funny in season 2 when it was used sparingly. Halfway through season 3, I was like, okay, we get it. It went from funny/cute to super annoying. I hope they tone that down a little in season 4. She does get little extra points in the last episode when she gets Will’s old Dungeons & Dragons stuff; I hope they do something with that and let her grow a little. Plus up her math/numbers stuff. A little less sass will go a long way. |
12 – Mike![]() Mike, Mike, Mike. Like, dude, seriously? He is almost, almost insufferable. Constantly whining, leaving your supposed best buddy Will behind so many times. Then lying to your girlfriend that can literally kill things with her mind. Dude-bro, come on? Not wanting to play D&D, the way you talked to Hopper, you lucky you didn’t eat that Jorge Masvidal “3-piece with a soda”, son! Though you did redeem yourself by the end of the season. But come on, let us not make Mike such a punk in season 4, please! |
11 – Billy![]() Man, I don’t know? I know the character of Billy is a turd of a person, but man, the actor, Dacre Montgomery, just oozes coolness. I mean, Billy sucks, but we get a little glimpse into his childhood and he does save Eleven from the Mind Flayer, so he gets more points. Plus he just looks so dang cool I can’t rank him lower. But he is also a terrible person in the show, so I can’t rank him higher, either. |
10 – Max![]() Max makes the biggest jump, as she is given a lot more time in Season 3 and a lot more to do. Her and Eleven’s friendship is one of the highlights of season 3 and the mall sequence with the two is great. Plus she is into comic books and shows Eleven how cool comics are, so she gets multiple hits in cool points from me. I do kind of wish she had more to do in Stranger Things season 3, but she got some great character growth from season 2. Plus now that she is more of an accepted part of the party she should get more interesting in season 4. |
9 – Will![]() Will seems to always get the shaft, right? I mean, the first season lost in the upside-down, second season possessed by the Mind Flayer. The third season you would think he would get something. Instead, his friends don’t want to play D&D with him. I mean, did anyone else get extremely sad during that scene? Then he just spends the rest of the season feeling his neck, telling the people the Mind Flayer is coming; then he moves away. At least he got a sister in Eleven. I think the big move at the end of the season is great for Will’s character; maybe he will get more time in season 4. Will ranks so high probably because I feel bad for him. Plus that whole scene of his friends ditching him and him tearing down Fort Byers hit me in all the feels. |
8 – Robin![]() Probably going to get some crap for my ranking of the internet’s new favorite character in Robin. Yeah, she is cool and snarky and the perfect jokester to play off Steve, but that’s about it. Don’t get me wrong, I liked her character and she is a good new cast member, and she is already in the middle of my rankings. That’s pretty solid for someone making their debut! But, let’s get real: she is going to have to do a little more to break into the upper echelon of rankings. I know she cracked the Russian code and infiltrated the base. But that is just not enough! |
7 – Lucas![]() Lucas, man, you almost dropped some in points for me with the whole “New Coke” rant; I about smacked the screen! Plus you almost—and I repeat almost—entered Mike territory with all the girlfriend/whining stuff. But you totally redeemed yourself with your fireworks plan. Plus, I mean, he’s still hanging on to that wrist rocket. Like he won’t let that thing go, and I love it. It is always handy and ready to go. He better keep that thing forever. So basically he saved the day twice with the wrist rocket, by popping BIlly in the face, and distracting the Mind Flayer by shooting the balloon (dude’s got like Hawkeye accuracy with that thing). Then, again, he saves the day with some ax-wielding and then his fireworks plan. So, Lucas is still the man; keep rocking that bandana! |
6 – Dustin![]() Dustin got some big changes in Stranger Things season 3. Coming back from camp he was welcomed by his friends and then totally separated from them. Which, I know everybody is like yeah #scoopstroop is awesome bro. Yeah, I liked the whole Scoops Troop gang as well; though I do wish Dustin did hang out with Mike, Will, Lucas, and Eleven a little bit more in the season. My heart still goes out to see the “OG” Stranger Things crew together. |
5 – Eleven![]() El got a crazy good story in Stranger Things season 3. She finally just got to be a “kid” for a little while. She used her powers to spy and play jokes and she just got to be kind of normal, which was great to see. Plus she got to go shopping with Max, which was a delightful sequence. Her picking out ’80s fashion to “Material Girl” was wonderful. |
4 – Joyce![]() Joyce has to be the unheralded hero of Stranger Things. What a great jump for her character. From single mom struggling to a no-guff, no-nonsense “killa b”. Magnets start falling and she is just like, “Something’s up and I am figuring it out!” |
3 – Hopper![]() Man, I have seen a lot of articles giving Hopper crap in Stranger Things season 3. He yelled too much! He was too macho! Blah, blah, blah, blah. Look, Hopper has been through a lot and may not know how to emotionally handle it. People complained he handled the El/Mike situation poorly. Look, if I had talked to an adult the way that punk Mike did I probably wouldn’t be here typing all this out for you, so I think he handled it pretty well. Plus, you going to hate on a guy rocking a shirt like this? |
2 – Steve![]() Oh, my man Steve, gosh. Okay, you dropped from the number 1 spot, but still, you da man! Come on, Steve Harrington is just wonderful! He finally won a freaking fight, plus he did the ol’ nail baseball bat flip with the ice cream scoop and pipe. Man, I miss that bat; it needs to make a return in season 4. Steve is the king of getting his face beat in and still coming back for more. That’s the kind of scrappiness I like to see! |
1 – Nancy![]() Alright, Nancy Wheeler made the jump to number 1 from number 2. I feel Nancy doesn’t get her due respect and it is about time y’all recognize that Nancy Wheeler is the best character in Stranger Things, period, full stop. She went from calm little high school girl to full-time monster-killer and she never lets up! I love how she always ends up with a gun and she always looks cool, always. That scene of her standing shooting at Billy as he races the car to kill her and the kids! Man, it shows you Nancy just has ice in her veins; you can’t shake her. When those dudes at the newspaper were totally trashing her—I am just like, man, y’all don’t know who you are messing with; this girl is a straight killer! And then she goes and proves it throughout season 3. |
Stranger Things
So, there we have it! I had a lot of fun with this, which again, I loved this season and really loved all the seasons of Stranger Things. From the characters to the music, everything was great. I loved the summer setting of Stranger Things season 3. The lights, fireworks, the fair, community pool; it all just oozed that summer nostalgia! This was a great change-up from the fall setting of the past two seasons. It is crazy to watch these characters grow and see how old the actors have gotten. Man, I feel old going back and looking at season 1! Crazily anticipating season 4 to see what the Duffer Brothers bring!